


Family Firsts

by nonky



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 05:57:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17740268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonky/pseuds/nonky
Summary: Prompted by danniisupernova at LJ: Micheal/Lindsey/Gob, if this is a rom-com, kill the directorSet after the initial three seasons.





	Family Firsts

Michael's flight to the Bahamas lasted exactly as long as the boat; he was back at the model home by the second day, less than twenty-four hours after leaving for the party. His mother's lawyer was frantic with her requests, and needed Michael to explain his services were not those of a concierge. The company was in trouble - when was the Bluth Company not in trouble - and his teenage son was back to sharing a bedroom with his cousin who was also his wife.

When he tossed his jacket ahead into the master bedroom, he was somehow unable to fake surprise at the three people sprawled on his bed. Lindsey was flipping through a magazine, Gob shuffled cards, and Tobias was subtly trying to pet Gob's shoulder.

"I know, it's a great shirt, right," his brother said obliviously, tugging at it so their brother-in-law had a better look down the open collar. "Silk!"

"Very silky," Tobias agreed, reaching into the fabric and getting a slap from a fanned out deck of magic playing cards.

"Yeah, anyway," the magician looked side-to-side rapidly but was in the middle of the married couple. He settled for misdirection. "Michael's here now, we should do the thing!"

Michael had hoped to sneak into his closet and change clothes before they spotted him and rose from their habitual comas. He sighed and shook his head. "I've had a long day, so let's just skip it, okay, Gob?"

"Michael, that's exactly the problem with you - you're selfish," Lindsey protested sharply. "Here we are-"

"With your shoes on my bed, yes you are," Michael allowed. "I'm sure you had something very special in mind if you bothered to walk up the stairs and all, but I'm stressed out. If someone asks me to do one more thing today, I'm going to have an aneurysm!"

Tobias scrambled up and ran to the bathroom for what Michael presumed was first aid supplies. "Not really, though! I was exaggerating! Please don't -"

Breaking glass from the bathroom told him his plea was useless, so he concentrated on getting rid of his siblings. They were sitting at head of the bed with pillows propped behind them. Gob had taken off his shirt and draped it over the bedpost.

"You're working too hard, and stress is a killer, Michael," she said seriously. "I'd have a fundraiser, but that won't help you right now. You need attention. We have oils, we'll lock the bedroom door and -"

She looked resigned as her husband howled from the bathroom.

"Call an ambulance for The Blue Man in there," he asked mildly. "I'd really rather not get a rubdown from my sister and brother, even if you're not really my sister, Lindsey. You know I don't care that you're adopted, it's just too weird. And Gob, I'm sure you're a very charismatic performer, but the casual incest is getting to be a little much around here."

She hopped up and threw her magazine, it hit Gob in the mouth. He swore under his breath, but they weren't noticing him. Michael was backing away from Lindsey's entreating hands.

"If nothing has changed, why won't you let us help you," she said desperately. "You won't even let Tobias treat your aneurysm! This death wish you have is really hard on all of us!"

Lindsey flopped to the bed and Gob put his arm around her, giving Michael and accusing stare.

"Chipped a tooth, Gob, it looks like," he told the older man.

"Yessh, thanksh for menshining it."

"Little help . . . ?"

Michael's head dipped forward and his eyes closed, his neck twitching to one side before he summoned the slightest interest in picking his brother-in-law off the floor. His hesitation made Lindsey hope he had changed his mind about the oily sibling massage. She patted the bed and Michael was off to assist Tobias.


End file.
